Listening is one of the most compassionate gesture everyone can afford!
Do not try to control.
Whoever needs to control others shows a deepest fear and sometimes a lack of self-esteem. You want to control because you know you are not really in control.
Yes, you managed to pound your ideas into others' brains.
That feels good.
But it is the opposite of being compassionate.
You will not control others, not matter how much you desire it.
They will not think like you.
They will not follow your lead.
They will not listen.
They are their own people.
Everyone is his or her own captain.
Being compassionate is to acknowledge that others can be right even when you think at first that they are wrong.
Being compassionate is to open up to others being right.
No matter what they say.
5 ways to become a better listener:
1) Suppress your urge to always have an opinion. It's not a contest. When you shut that voice inside you that says, "Me, me.." you open up to others. Good listeners get more respect than people who shover their opinions on others. Pushing your ideas on people is perceived as condescending and make you sound like a know-it-all.
2) Wait to express your opinion. Answer only when you are asked to. Sometimes no one will think of asking what you think. That's okay. Do not expect anyone to ask your opinion. When they do, you will have more time to form your thoughts and will sound better.
3) Expect to learn something from others. Talking to yourself is not a good way to learn new things. Everyone has something that can help you grow.
4) Do not assume that you know what the other person will say. Do not assume that you know the other person and have it all already charted in your mind. Listen out of curiosity.
5) Try to figure out the subtext of a conversation. Look at their body gestures and position, the way they hesitate, the way they look at other people for encouragement, the emotions behind the words. Imagine their life through their words and imagine what would push them tosay what they are saying. You can learn a lot from the subtext and be surprised how much you might be wrong.
People have many ways to surpise us.
Let other people surpise you.
Let them speak.
Imagine how much you learn when you pay attention to the sounds of the night.