Many human decisions are taken in an instant, following an emotional reaction, and it is justified later on rationally.
This includes the people we decide to help, the charities we are giving to, the clothes we are wearing, the books we pick, etc.
Emotions are not rational.
Emotions are instinctive, intuitive, spontaneous.
It is almost impossible to control a reaction to something.
What we can control is the amount of rationalization we put behind our choices.
We feel compassion for things that touch us personally, for things that resonnate with us.
We act emotionally. We jump in or off. We like. We don’t like. We judge.
We feel things.
Neuroscientists showed that the first impression takes the fraction of a second to form.
This impression will form the basis of our opinions.
From now on, we are looking for anything that can confirm our first impression.
That is to say that compassion is bias.
Compassion is selective.
Can we really be compassionate if our acts of kindness and our understanding of others is based on our preferences?
It's important to put ourselves in other people's shoes.
Life is not black and white.
If someone at first makes you angry, think twice.
There is an expression that says: “People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
I used to teach French.
In my class, there was a girl who dozed off on her table every time she came to class.
One day, the students looked at me a little irritated and said, "Why you letting her sleep in class?"
I simply replied, "She's my best student. She deserves to take a rest."
That's when my students realized that I cared.
Many students did have odd jobs at night to be able to afford college.
They also had to study at night.
No wonder they were exhausted during the day.
Why would I be angry at someone who did everything they could to stay in college?
Sometime you have to look beyond yourself and not just look at what you like and dislike.
Yes, I dislike that students sleep in my class. It makes me feel redundant. It makes me feel useless. It makes me think I'm boring.
But if I step away and look beyond my little world, a whole new world opens.
That's compassion.
To feel compassion, you need to step from your tiny, microscopic, personal, intimate bubble and look at the world from new heights.
Yes, compassion is bias, but your will is not.